Chistmas dinner and the lost present

Christmas dinner.

I thought I would post something on this subject as I get asked constantly what I am going to have for christmas dinner.
The conversation usually goes something like this –

Them - “So, what do you have for your Christmas dinner then?”
Me - “Well, this year..”
Them – “..Nut roast, snigger?”
Me – “Actually no, I don’t like nut roast. This year it will be a butterbean and leek pie with all the usual trimmings”.
Them - “Oh, that sounds all right. Still, how can you have a Christmas dinner without turkey and ham? I mean, really?”
Me - sitting in silence wondering how to break it to them that they have a distinct singular lack of imagination without appearing rude. I never have figured out how to do this. Any tips please let me know.

A guy I work with doesn’t celebrate any aspect of Christmas at all. He keeps this very quiet, to avoid the sort of grief I get for not eating meat I suppose.

I have wrapped all my presents apart from two, one will be wrapped later this evening.
The remaining present will have to be located first. It was the first one I bought and I hid it in a safe place, so safe that I cannot remember where. Bugger.
The house will be turned upside down tonight when I get home.